lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

(Source: artvevo, via allthingshyper)

Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

(Source: flyingscotsman, via clrama)

are you fucking kidding me

zanetheaiden:

zanetheaiden:

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Heh, I play the cello, I’ll bet this is an interesting article.

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tru

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Jesus fucking christ dont get me started on moving the damn thing

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Pretty much…

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They cause die

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Yeah thats

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Me. Thats me.

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Motherfucker you wanna play

(x)

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Oh hey, a Buzzfeed article relevent to my interests!

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I

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why this

(x)

(via karlcat)

tenebrum:

SpiderGate Cemetery In the center of this odd, forgotten cemetery is what many call “The Alter Ring”- a barren circle of trees believed to be used as a portal to the dark side. Adventurers have reported finding coins on top of the surrounding grave markers, an act that resembles the Greek practice of paying Charon the ferryman to take you across the River Styx.

tenebrum:

SpiderGate Cemetery
In the center of this odd, forgotten cemetery is what many call “The Alter Ring”- a barren circle of trees believed to be used as a portal to the dark side. Adventurers have reported finding coins on top of the surrounding grave markers, an act that resembles the Greek practice of paying Charon the ferryman to take you across the River Styx.

(via gravenhale)

I need your help!

sadie-ah:

Hello followers! First I just wanted to say thank you for all the love and positive vibes I’ve been getting these past few weeks.

It’s about 6am here and I need your help. So, in order for you to help me you’ve got to know a little about my situation. About four years ago my dad…